


Selfish

by Vexicle



Series: Yggdrasil [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexicle/pseuds/Vexicle





	1. Chapter 1

There's a change in atmosphere, Zephyr decides.

Iggy and Basil have been dancing around each other for ages now, the redhead expressing his affection in some really, really out-of-character ways for him, and Basil has always had one foot in his mouth when around Iggy.

Just this morning, however, Zephyr notices the two of them talking and laughing down the corridor, and Iggy’s actually not trying to set Basil off for once. She feels slightly bad for hiding around the corner and spying on the boys, but curiosity (and jealousy, but she pushes that feeling aside) gets the better of her. Zephyr’s gray eyes narrow as she spots Iggy pass Basil a lunchbox. Iggy doesn't seem to know where to put his hands, gesticulating wildly and then just putting both limbs behind his back. As she squints closer, she can spot the bright flush across Basil’s face as he eagerly accepts. Iggy relaxes and makes the _cutest_ expression of delight.

Zephyr turns on her heel before storming off.

Zephyr makes a short detour to the bathroom. As she splashes cold water on her face, she stares at herself in the mirror, thinking. It's not right, she decides. Her parents always taught her it wasn't good to feel jealous of another girl. Even if it was technically a boy in this situation, her parents' sentiments are the same. Zephyr clenches and unclenches her fists repeatedly, tugging on some strands of her long hair. _Iggy’s my best friend,_ Zephyr thinks, ignoring the despair welling up in her chest. _I should be happy for him._ Zephyr wipes the cold water off her face with her sleeve, practices putting on the normal smile she always has, and exits the bathroom looking (hopefully) like she had only took the time to freshen up.

As soon as the door shuts, a stall door swings open and one gray eye peers out warily. As she scans the empty bathroom, the curly-haired girl steps out. She raises one hand to her chin in a thinker pose, letting out a ‘hm’ thoughtfully.

Should she keep this to herself?

.

After class, Zephyr is sitting with their group’s main songwriter as his assistant lyricist and she feels like she wants to scream.

The black-haired girl is well aware that Iggy has known her long enough to realise what she wants when she is distressed, and that means he's politely ignoring her behaviour. Zephyr can't help it, she knows it's really not Iggy’s fault but she can't help the slight bitterness tinged in every sentence she says. _The best thing to do would be to keep silent and let this all blow over,_ she thinks, and then Zephyr makes the mistake of letting her mind linger on the word ‘blow’ too long and then she's briefly acknowledging that Basil really is quite attractive and now she's awkwardly trying to adjust her sitting position in front of her crush and childhood friend oh _god_ -

Iggy can stand it no longer, looking at Zephyr with a determined glint in his amber eyes. “Zephyr, I know something's bothering you,” he says with the patience of a saint. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zephyr laughs airily. God, this is awkward. Then again, her parents have always told her that communication is the most important tool in relationships. Zephyr takes a deep breath. 

“Sorry, Iggy. It's complicated.” Wait, that isn't what she wants to say! Betrayed by her own nerves. Unbelievable.

Iggy gives her this gentle smile that makes Zephyr’s entire being melt. She really can't help herself, but she doesn't really care right at this moment, he's literally perfect and understanding and caring and adorable and he's grown up to be so goddamn hot, and he's _not hers_ , Zephyr has to remind herself. _Get a grip!_

Seemingly oblivious to her inner turmoil, Iggy continues on. “I really like the ideas you have today. You really are the best at writing love songs, Zephyr. I'm sorry, but I'm way too squeamish about these things,” he chuckles as he tries to lighten the mood.

Zephyr plays along. “Of course, Iggy. Happy to help. Now, I'm really sorry but,” she stands up, hoisting her schoolbag up across her shoulder, “I have to go. I'm really happy you like it, though!” She waves hurriedly. “Um, goodbye!” She dashes off before Iggy can say anything, leaving the redhead staring after her in confusion.

She dashes blindly through the school corridors, but she's forced to halt after approximately 0.001 seconds as she almost barrages straight into Cherry. She stops, panting and trying to catch her breath as the other girl raises her eyebrow. 

“I've been waiting for you.” Cherry’s voice is strangely subdued, and that alone makes Zephyr’s blood run cold. She stares like a deer caught in the headlights as Cherry gives her a sad smile. “It's hard, I know. Stay strong. I can tell that you're beating yourself up, so I'm here to tell you - you aren't being selfish at all, Zephyr. It’s not your fault you have feelings.” She steps forward to grasp the other girl’s hands in her own.

Zephyr doesn't reply, squeezing Cherry’s hands tightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Zephyr isn't sure how much longer she can take this. She knows she made a promise to herself secretly, to Iggy by extension, but with the way things are going she's feeling very Not Great.

It's not even his fault, but the way his amber eyes glitter and he smiles softly at the black-haired boy (even as Iggy teases him for being a total mess) is absolutely _heartbreaking_ to her.

Zephyr doesn't care anymore; she wants out, she wants it to stop, she wants this pain to end. It's horrible, terrible, all of it. She wishes it never happened in the first place.

It's just that Zephyr knows Iggy would never return her feelings. It's cruel and she wants to break down and cry, but she's stuck being by his side by nature of being the redhead’s best friend. And if best friend duties include being there for him no matter what, Zephyr will gladly bear it with a smile.

It doesn't make her pain any duller, however. Some days she feels like bursting into tears at the randomest of times. There's a dull, heavy throbbing in her tight chest that increases in intensity when Iggy’s around. 

She wants him. She can't have him.

Now, because Zephyr is a prick and a complete dumbass, she drags Cherry along with her; she just needs someone to dump all her issues on today. Zephyr decides to never fall completely, foolishly in love ever again. 

“Cherry, I hope I'm not a bother, but I don't know what to do. How do I deal with this?” Zephyr sighs, her eyes dull and staring at nothing. The two girls are near the school courtyard. Zephyr can hear the whoops and cries of delight from her schoolmates, but all she does is grip the fringes of her skirt tightly and stare at it. Gee, that _is_ a nice shade of black.

“Write a song about it,” Cherry jokes, though her voice is obviously filled with concern. “You'll never be a bother, okay? I'm glad you came to me.” Cherry places her hands over Zephyr’s own. “Honestly, I think you're dealing with it better than I ever could. Time heals wounds, right?”

“I mean… I guess.” Zephyr sighs and close her eyes. “I don't know. I'm upset. So, so, upset. Really sad, too. It's stupid. I know I'm not entitled to a relationship.” She clenches the fabric of her skirt in her hands. “It's frustrating.” _And it hurts._

“I… I don't actually know what to say.” Zephyr blinks in surprise when she feels warm arms surround her. Cherry lets out a giggle. “Hey, it'll be okay, right? You'll get over Iggy and everything will be fine. Life will go on. Even if he doesn't like you, there'll be someone else out there.”

Some deep dark part inside Zephyr just cries pathetically, _oh my god, I want_ Iggy _, not some other rando!_ but the more rational part of her is nodding in agreement.

She doesn't respond for a while, too choked up for words. “Th-thanks, Cherry,” she finally says, voice sounding small and forlorn even to herself.

Cherry just hugs Zephyr closer, and she allows herself to be calmed by her warm embrace.

.

Zephyr is walking back along the corridor to her classroom when a red flash catches her eye and makes her pause, makes her turn her head.

It's Iggy, of course, and his boyfriend, laughing and talking about who knows what. Zephyr slows down and takes her time to observe the brilliant sparkle in his amber eyes, just how happy and _alive_ he looks.

_I won't take that away from him._

As she tries to scurry away discreetly, green eyes capture her gray ones. Basil Collins is looking in her direction, tall and lanky, lips parted slightly. It's a fleeting thought but… _He’s… kind of pretty._

Zephyr stammers and stutters out apologies before dashing away as fast as she can. The browns and whites of the walls all blend together as she speeds down the hallway, heart thumping frantically and adrenaline rushing through her veins.


End file.
